ch-ch-changes.

Disclaimer: I'm not usually like a blog-aholic or anything but I've had a week full of insights so I'm sharing.

Today, as I was walking home I was just looking at Y Mountain. There's this one part near the summit where the trees have started changing colors...there's yellows, light oranges, burnt oranges and still lots of green. I was looking at it as I walked and I thought about how I like fall. Fall means change. And then I thought about how I'm ready for some changes in my life.

-A change of mind: In my Foundations of Education class, we've been talking about how some people just learn how to work the school system and coast through it without really learning. I feel like I've been doing that for about 6 years now. I'm in my program now and the stuff I'm learning could actually help me to become a better teacher. It's time for me to enjoy learning again.

-A change of habits: I haven't gone jogging since July. Yes, it is now September. It's time that I start being active again. I also need to make better choices about what I eat...fruits and veggies need to have a more prominent role in my diet and the amount of sweets I consume needs to dramatically decrease. I have to start treating my body the way it deserves to be treated.

-A change of people: I've been hanging out with the same group of people for the past few weekends. I love them, I really do, but it's time for me to branch out and meet new people. I really need to get involved in my ward and make some new friends there.

-A change of attitude: I need to figure out exactly what my priorities are and get them straight. The most important things in life aren't things... they're relationships. How do you fix a relationship that is not so great and has been that way for oh...say...your whole life? I was not the nicest big sister growing up and I realize that. But I've grown up A LOT since I moved out and came to college. I want to improve my relationship with my brothers and be there for them if they ever need someone to talk to besides our parents. I'm going to be positive about this and believe that Heavenly Father can help me to mend this broken relationship.

-A change of heart: It's time for me to stop with my selfish desires. I need to turn myself over to God and let Him make of me what He will. He knows me better than I know myself so He knows what's really best for me. I want to want what God wants for me.

I've come to the conclusion that change is good. You can't be afraid of the

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free advice.

I love how my life can go from almost boring to holy-crap-this-is-so-much-stuff-i-never-stop-no-downtime-ever-i'm-gonna-go-crazy-right-NOW in like 3 weeks.

Okay, wait...no. No, I don't love that. I wish that it could be a little more balanced, with a little more to do in the summer, and a little less to do in the fall.

I have been so busy the past couple weeks I don't even know how I'm still going. I leave at 7:45 or 8:45 in the morning and sometimes don't get back until 6:00 at night. Class, class, class, homework, homework, homework. Sundays used to be my recharging day, my day of rest. Um, FALSE. Not anymore it appears. My church starts at 10:15 but meetings start at 7:20. While being in the Relief Society Presidency is an incredible learning opportunity that I'm so grateful for, it does require more effort and time than I ever imagined. Because I don't know many of the girls yet, I feel a little intimidated and a little inadequate when I'm up in front of them. But I know that Heavenly Father wants me in this position and that He's going to help me out. Plus, as I get to know them and become their friend, they're going to seem a lot less scary. :)

There have been times the past 2 weeks that I've wanted to cry. Scratch that, where I have cried because I don't know how I'm supposed to do it all. It doesn't seem possible! I'm being mentally, emotionally and spiritually stretched this year, fosh (that's how cool kids say for sure).
In my back to school blessing, I was warned to be sure that I magnify my calling and so I'm making sure that that is my number one priority. I'm trying to help myself out by attending institute and by going to the temple once a week too. I need all the blessings I can get.

Last week, my back was really hurting and so I asked my roommates' boyfriends to give me a blessing. They did and well, it turns out my back wasn't the only thing that needed to be blessed. In that blessing were words of advice that I'm never going to forget:

"As you put Heavenly Father first, all else will fall into place."

Words to live by, don't you think?

fast sundays are gone too fast.

Fast Sundays are my favorite. I love for people to get up and share their experiences and the things that they personally know. Sacrament meeting was phenomenal yesterday. As I was sitting there listening to these people around me sharing their testimonies, the thought came to me how amazing it is that we (as BYU students and members of the 111th ward, I guess) are all here because WE WANT TO BE HERE. Not because Mom and Dad are saying "Come on kids. It's Sunday...get ready because this is what we do on Sundays." We're all going because we know the kind of strength and power that are found in the gospel, and for me personally, the only way I can make it through the week is if I'm at church on Sunday. Sunday morning before church I feel like a rechargeable battery that all the juice has been drained out of...then church just sets me back on the charger and by the end of the Sabbath, I've got enough energy to last me through the next week.

I LOVE THAT!!!

Even better, we had a lesson in Relief Society on jealousy and how comparing ourselves to others just tears us down. I have a quote on my mirror that says “The only person you should compare yourself to is Christ.” SO TRUE!

I loved this quote that Maria had that said,

“The race is against sin—not against each other.”

You would think that would be obvious...but no. Epiphany occured right at about that moment. I don't have to be the best because it isn't between me and you! It's between me and Satan....and trust me, HE'S GOING DOWN.

bee why you.

it is only day two

and

i already feel overwhelmed.

booooooo.

do you know what?

I love good conversation.

Conversation that you don't have to think about, that just flows easily and lasts for hours.

I LOVE IT!

Also.

God puts people in our lives for a reason.

Mostly He puts them in mine so I can talk to them and learn from them.

So, people, thanks for chatting with me.

You're all teaching me a lot.

I just love you!

all my hopes and dreams

So...today as I made the drive from Grand Junction, Colorado back to Provo, I was listening to the 2009 EFY cd. Yeah, don't judge me-- I know I'm super cool. Anyway, I was listening to it and a line from the song "While We're Young" stuck out to me.

"Let us dream big and love even bigger."

That got me thinking about dreams...I have a few of those, including (but not limited to):

-Go to Santorini, Greece. (Google a picture- your eyes will thank you.)

-Fall in love.

-Get married in the Temple.

-Learn to drive stick shift (before I have kids).

-Go to Korea! It's got Seoul.

-Serve a mission. Multiple, if circumstances allow.

-Be a mom / Have redheaded babies(!!).

-Make a difference.

Those are just a few of the thoughts going around in my crazy red head. My dreams are pretty big...seeing as I've only left the country once and I won't be making babies until I'm in love and then married (hahaha that won't be for a while).... So if we should love EVEN BIGGER than that...wow. Think of the amazing things that could happen if we could push the hatred & animosity out of our world and replace it with love and understanding. It would be SO TOTALLY WICKED!!! (Name that movie). Anyway, tell me, what are some of your dreams?

I KNOW WHO I AM.

The past little while has been kind of hard for me. I've been having some self-esteem issues and I've just been down on myself. Being at a place like BYU is hard. I love it here but there are so many talented, beautiful, incredible people that sometimes I feel inadequate. I saw a group on facebook that said "BYU...where your best isn't good enough since 1875." It really does seem that way sometimes...that I'm not the smartest, I'm not the prettiest, I'm not the nicest, I'm not the most Christlike, I'm not the most athletic...whatever.

However, last week we had Enrichment for Relief Society, where the lesson just so happened to be on this very subject. (God knows what I need to hear). Grace gave us an awesome quote...here it is:

"One of the greatest challenges is to overcome the feeling that we are unimportant, that we are not special and unique. Do you think for a moment that Heavenly Father would have sent one of His children to this earth by accident, without the possiblity of a significant work to perform? ... My dear friends, you are a royal generation. You were preserved to come to the earth in this time for a special purpose. Not just a few of you, but all of you. There are things for each of you to do that no one else can do as well as you. If you do not prepare to do them, they will not be done. Your mission is unique and distinctive for you. Please don't make another have to take your place. He or she can't do it as well as you can. If you will let Him, I testify that our Father in Heaven will walk with you through the journey of life and inspire you to know your special purpose here." -Bishop H. Burke Peterson

I've been praying a lot recently to be able to see myself the way the Lord sees me and to see others that way as well. I also made a playlist with uplifting music that makes me feel good.
Listening to these songs and talking to my Heavenly Father and some other girls has helped me to get my perspective back where it needs to be.

WE AREN'T HERE ON ACCIDENT. I'm here, in Provo, Utah, because this is where I need to be. There are people for me to touch and influence that only I can! God has a plan for me, Alicia Erin Webb. He knows me much, much better than I know myself and He wants the best for me. So even though it seems like everyone around me is in a relationship, or engaged, or married and I'm 20 and have never even had a boyfriend, it's okay. BECAUSE GOD LOVES ME! And He's the only one who really matters anyway. I'm not nobody. I am special. I've been sent to this earth for a reason. I have a mission that no one else can fulfill. I know who I am: I am a daughter of God.